You've only hugged 80% of me.

You've only hugged 80% of me.
When you grow up, it's hard to be happy wholeheartedly.


order a cup of milk tea, meet with friends, get things done on the schedule,

you will feel better more or less.

so that it's hard for me not to think about whether I will lose sleep tonight after drinking this cup of milk tea.

will you feel more lonely after meeting?

is the task at hand really done?

so, I can understand.

when people around them say they haven't been happy for a long time,

they are actually expressing--

then I gradually understand why Tan Min said that sentence:

"very often, I feel that I have lost a part of myself forever."


in order for me to better understand what he means,

Tan Min specifically cited an example:

that is, even if he is hugging his girlfriend,

only 80% of himself can feel body temperature.

the remaining 20% may be thinking about this month's mortgage;

may also be thinking about how to write tonight's tweet.

"do you know what the scariest thing is?" He went on to say:

my brain will start working automatically.

is like a computer infected with a virus. "

and what is even more sad is that when he said so, several colleagues around him nodded silently.

this way of dealing with stress by "taking away part of yourself" seems to have become a daily routine for many people.

because I am not sure, if I fight alone in a big city, I will not be able to hold on suddenly one day.

that's why I subconsciously chose a part of myself as my backing.


I remember that two years ago, the night my boyfriend and I just broke up,

I was jealous for a long time hiding in the quilt of the dormitory.

after I recovered, I lay in bed stupefied for a few seconds.

then get up, turn on the small lamp, and memorize the knowledge points to be tested tomorrow.

Yes, it's not easy to break up.

A fall in a relationship can easily lead to a collapse.

but I don't know why, there's always a voice in my heart saying:

you've lost that person,

you can't let the rest of your life be a mess.

it was at that moment that I realized that

although we have grown up and seen more, it is difficult for us to be happy without distractions.

but did you find out?

We won't be sad wholeheartedly anymore.


I've heard a lot of people say that the older you get, the less happy you are.

and I also admit that when I was young, I was happy mostly because of ignorance,

grew up unhappy, mostly because of powerlessness.

just like me, who was criticized by the editor two days ago,

also fell into the "powerlessness" of self-doubt.

but the next second, I opened the Word document skillfully, and

wrote down how I felt at that time.

thinking that it might become a topic of choice.

so, we have never really lost 20% of ourselves.

it just escapes to places we can't perceive, and

becomes the most secretive and hardest part of our character.

Let's be aggrieved again and still remember to gulp on meat.

No matter how hard it is, at least part of it will be carried by itself.

and it took me a long time to understand.

that part of oneself, as people often say,

is mature.

author /Liu Bai

illustrations /Wu Maoyan

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