Why didn't you tell me "anything"?
"what's wrong with you?"I'm fine."
A few days ago, when we were having midnight snacks with Lao Lin, we discussed the behavior of writing affectionate words in moments late at night. Lao Lin unabashedly expressed his heartfelt disdain: "We are all adults. We should learn to digest our emotions and hide bad words."
that's what Lao Lin said and did, and most of the things in his circle of friends are beautiful scenery and positive words. I couldn't help asking him curiously, "even the closest person, do you choose not to tell him about your inner pain?"
"the closer the relationship is, the more painful it will be for the other person to talk about the pain." If one thing only makes the one you love uncomfortable, why not hide it? " Lao Lin held his glasses and his eyes were firm.
I touched my chin and nodded. It is true that, as he said, a relationship goes from strangeness to intimacy because we talk about everything, but when the relationship becomes close enough, after careful consideration, we hide some words and choose not to talk about it.
No wonder people say, "only children ask why you ignore me, and adults are tacitly estranged from each other."
after I went to college, my consistent attitude towards my family was to report the good news but not the bad news. In the past, when I was sick, they could accompany me by my bedside and take care of me day and night, but now I can't. I don't want them to put up with the worry of being blocked by space. So sometimes when I am so weak that I can't even get out of bed and walk around, I still squeeze out a few grimaces when I video chat with my family, telling them that I am doing well and know how to take care of myself.
but my father always felt that there was nothing that could not be said among the family. He was often dissatisfied with my attitude of keeping secrets and not reporting bad news.
one of his favorite words is: "if you don't confess to your family, who else are you going to confess to?"
one day, Wechat replied that oh, uh-huh, my father suddenly called me: "what are you doing?" Do you want to make a video? I want to see you. "
after hanging up the phone, I felt something was wrong. I asked my brother for a long time before he hesitated to tell me that my father had been in hospital for a week and he was discharged today.
I didn't even give him a greeting, and I hated myself all the more when I thought of him lying in bed looking at his cell phone and not waiting for a word.
I angrily criticized my brother, saying that I should be told no matter what, even if I can't do anything from a long distance, even if I can't eat and sleep. Because I don't want my happiness to be ignorant, I don't want to look for the next pleasure when someone I care about is lying in a hospital bed. This kind of avoiding talk tortures me more than Ling Chi.
my father chose not to talk about it in order to protect my emotions and hid the words, but it threw me into a cage of self-remorse and pain. What is concealed in order to protect a relationship will ferment in the dark, and then turn from a fire into a bomb, hurting everything you want to protect.
I can finally understand why my parents always want us to tell them everything, because worry is an accessory of love.
my friend Aji is very upset recently. he realizes that he has become a little stingy since he fell in love with his girlfriend. When he was in a friendship, he never restrained his girlfriend from going out with other boys. He found that after being together, the men who often laughed and played with their girlfriends suddenly felt a pain in his throat.
"I can't talk to her. She doesn't like me so stingy. " Aji kept hiding his changes until one day he finally broke out, shaking with anger. Aji's girlfriend looked at him in disbelief, and finally her voice shook and said, "you have changed."
when Aji told me about this, I suddenly felt terrible. Because I have also done what he did, in order to accommodate close people, so choose to hide their own joys and sorrows.
but one day we won't be able to hide, so the damn "you've changed" comes naturally. This is why many old friends and lovers end up drifting away: "in order to protect the me you once knew, I chose to hide myself rather than be honest."
satin wedding dresses are designed to amp up your confidence and charm. Pefect for formal affairs or an informal ceremonies.
but what people want to see is not the kind of illusory understanding that always lives in memory.
I want to hear about your changes. I want to know how you grow or fall. I want to know what you like or give up today. We all know it's not easy to keep your words in your heart. I hope it's me, so you don't have to hide them in order to protect anything. Even if I know these things, I will be tortured.
because you are happy, it can only prove that I like you, and it will prove that I love you because of your pain.
when you love someone, you always want to see what he looks like. If you secretly hide the painful part in the shadow when it's your turn, it's unfair to the honest party. Hidden, or camouflaged for a long time, we may even secretly complain that the other person does not understand us.
later I realized that I had never expressed my sadness in her face, giving her a chance to understand why I was sad, and why should I expect her to understand me? In fact, none of us are stupid. We can all feel what you are hiding. If we can't see it, we can only guess. However, is the guessed thing really the same as the hidden thing? The ability of human wishful thinking is always brought into full play in the loved ones.
this is really a very sad thing, obviously hiding to be better, but finally screwed up everything.