What is appropriate?

What is appropriate?
Three stories about "appropriateness"


what is appropriate.

I thought about this question for a long time. Last night, a good friend I hadn't seen for a long time suddenly called me. The first sentence is: "I broke up with her."

I asked: huh? Why.

he said: "I always knew her parents didn't like me, and then recently she became very cold to me. No matter what I said to her, she was'um 'and' Oh'. I asked her out for a drink yesterday, but she didn't want to. So I called her and said, 'Let's be clear,' and we broke up. "

"just broke up?"

"Yes, she said that her family strongly opposed their being together because my family was not rich enough."

"but you two have been together for three years. If you were against it, wouldn't you have opposed it already?"

"I can't figure it out either, so I called you."

I asked him to wait for me by the phone. Then I moved a stool to the balcony of the dormitory. I picked up the phone and said, "it can't be undone?"

"I don't know, she deleted all her moments."

I sigh, because everyone knows that deleting moments is the last step.

"well, it may be really hopeless."

Last night we talked for nearly three hours, saying that I forgot to push in disorder, only to realize that it was past 12:00, so I didn't post anything in disorder yesterday.

maybe life is like this. There are some things that you don't know until you miss them.

Take time to get in and look at the dazzling collection of turquoise bridesmaid dresses. Our flexible selections suit all body types well.

finally we came to a conclusion to explain why she could just go.

maybe not because of the pressure from his family, but because of disappointment, during his four years in college, he did nothing, and she kept trying, from freshman to minister, and then from minister to intern in advertising agency. finally, she joined a start-up company in her senior year. He is so busy that he doesn't even have time to talk on the phone every day, and he, except League of Legends's Rank, has nothing to show off.

such a conclusion is difficult to accept, but it is also the most reasonable.

through the microphone, I could hear him smoking. Before hanging up the phone, he said to me, "in fact, breaking up may be a good thing for me, because it lets me know that dawdling is not just about my present, but also about my future." ha

such self-mockery, I really can't answer, so I have to say, "come on."


I have three friends who have known each other since the first grade and still often have midnight snacks together.

when they were in high school, they were all single and I was the only one left.

I still remember that at that time, they often taught me how to chase a girl, how to please my girlfriend, and how to see if a girl is suitable for me.

I laughed at them in turn: "how old are you? you talk like you're experienced."

I regretted it as soon as I finished my words, because one of them had known each other since the sixth grade, and the other two had talked about it from junior high school to high school, at least for three years.

so during the following midnight snacks, I had to accept their repeated attacks: "I've been talking for almost five years, and I'm not qualified to teach you?" "you are the only one here who has never been in love, and if you don't learn from our predecessors, you will know your death in the future."

but another three years later, they all broke up one after another as if they had a tacit understanding. They can besiege one of me again during the midnight snack, because this time I have a girlfriend and they are all single.

while eating midnight snacks, I asked the friend who had been talking about it for nearly nine years, "Don't you really think it's a pity?"

he said: "well, in fact, I don't know why I broke up, but it seems that after talking for too long, she has become the air in my life. I know she is very important, but I also know that she will not leave. So they don't care, don't care what she likes, don't care what she needs. Slowly, it will fade. "

"light", these two words are really terrible.

obviously two suitable people are separated because of the extremely philosophical meaning of "fading", and they seem to show no sign of getting back together.

because of that friend of mine, I already have a new lover.

"what's the use? it's just wrong when it's not the right time. I wish I knew each other a few years later."

he summed up to me the reasons for their separation.


I wonder if you have ever traveled with someone you like.

A couple I know split up after a trip not long ago.

the reason is that the girl was cheated when she was buying jewelry, but she just stood there and scolded the shopkeeper, and the boy didn't help, and he kept making peace next door. Just when the girl was in a stalemate with the shopkeeper, the boy said to her, "it's only 50 yuan. Why argue with him when you buy a lesson?" If you don't go, I'll go. "

the moment I heard this, the girl stopped talking, turned around and went in the opposite direction as the boy, and went back to the hotel on her own.

they talked until three o'clock that night and finally decided to get together and break up.

when asked why, the girl said to me, "I am afraid of this kind of thing. What if I am bullied in the future?" What if he is bullied? Is it all as a lesson? "

and the boy said to me, "We were in Xitang and we were strangers. I saw the shopkeeper call someone. Why put his personal safety into it for 50 yuan?" Why is she so ignorant? "

in fact, neither of them is wrong in this matter, but what the girl wants at that moment isHis support, while the boy was thinking about her safety. It is obvious that the ultimate goal is for the good of each other, but they are raised to the state of "disagreement between the three values", and they are stubborn enough that they no longer fall in love with each other and go their separate ways.

I try to make peace between them and convey their thoughts to each other. But their attitude towards this matter is almost the same, that is, "Let bygones be bygones."

they don't find it a pity. On the contrary, they make me, an outsider, feel a pity.


I have heard many love stories and written many love stories.

but every time someone asks me, "what on earth is appropriate?"

I can't even answer. Because today's tweet alone has three kinds of "inappropriate".

the first is that two people have different horizons and experiences, which may be appropriate at first and then inappropriate.

the second is that two people know each other for too long and fall in love too young to move on to the next stage at the right time.

the third is that it is obvious that two people are made in heaven in the eyes of others, one is independent, the other is mature, but because of a small matter, they feel that the values of the two sides are inconsistent, so that it is not appropriate.

with only two thousand words, there are so many "inappropriate". Even every story of a breakup is actually an "inappropriate" story, and the stories of the two people who continue to walk together that I did not mention are the best proof of "fit".

but although I can't tell you exactly what kind of two people are considered appropriate, I can give you a piece of advice:

think is useless, try. I don't know if it's appropriate, so I create an opportunity to experience something together. If we are lucky, we can go forward hand in hand when we come back. If not, it is a good result to get together and break up.

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