Look back at the end of the year, but don't look back.
All we have is the memory itself.
by the end of the year, everyone must be almost done with both work and study. Usually we will make a summary at this time, and then look forward to the future. A process is as relaxing as taking a bath.
it's easy to attribute this relaxation to having a good rest.
but this article may give another answer.
that is, the source of ease is to be able to look back calmly, but don't really want it back.
it's also fast. When I was a sophomore when I was a sophomore, I graduated as a senior this year.
before the outbreak of the epidemic, I just finished the postgraduate entrance examination and went home and lay down for a week. When the reaction came over, the reexamination and graduation were delayed by the epidemic.
if I was a little anxious about it in February, I completely relaxed in March when the epidemic was not over. What's more, after handing in the graduation thesis, it seems that he has become a carefree person, eating, drinking, sleeping and sleeping all day.
the second interview has been put off until May, and I have been lying down until May.
as a result, there are only two weeks left in the final preparation. I didn't play well in a hurry and felt like I couldn't pass the exam.
at that time, I locked myself in my room, searching for information day and night, while frantically wanting to go back to undergraduate school and spend another carefree life with my roommate.
it still seems necessary to admit that human beings are fragile creatures.
when there is a shock, it is natural to put your hand back to the relatively happier days of the past, look for familiar people and things, and stuff yourself into it.
as if wrapped in a quilt.
but seeing that the school has no intention of sending a return notice, we can only stay at home and face the fact that we may not be able to pass the exam.
I started calling, filling in, waiting for the results, and repeating the process over and over again.
after the adjustment is rejected, there is only one way to wait for the result.
waited until June and was on the list.
coincidentally, it was just in time for the undergraduate school to organize graduates to return to school.
my roommate and I went through the formalities everywhere during the day, and in the evening we ate and talked over takeout in the dormitory, talking about our home life in the first half of the year and our plans for the future. As a result, although we graduated in a hurry this year, we actually had a complete farewell.
at that time, I was thinking that going back to school earlier and later would not be as good as it is now.
I was still in a confused and uneasy mood earlier, and I might have really missed the graduation season later.
that was the first time I found that there seemed to be the most appropriate time not only for where to go, but also for "going back".
I reported to my new school in September.
is indeed a fresh start, but it is also good and bad, the good is "new" and the bad is "all".
when I encountered all kinds of obstacles to completely establish interpersonal relationships from scratch, I couldn't help but miss the harmonious dormitory environment when I was in college.
it's just that when I really found the opportunity to go back, settle down in the hotel next to the school and eat familiar takeout, I found that it wasn't what I wanted at all.
then I repeatedly wondered why and why I had gone back to "before", but failed to make me feel better.
probably figured it out a little bit, so I can give an answer here:
because the elements of people and things in memories just seem fresh, but in fact they never belong to you.
they can only be incorporated into your memory at a specific time, so they are combined with a specific situation.
it's like when I was in college, the maple leaves began to turn red shortly after the beginning of school every fall, and their changes can be observed in class every day, which seems to be a little redder than last week or even yesterday.
I know that at the end of the year, we think of those who have left, lost their comfort zone, and lost their friends.
Don't look back.