I didn't like you being so nice to everyone.
the planning departments of disorganized activities are all warm men, and the editorial department is the one who is taken care of. They often lose their temper when they fail to write manuscripts every month, while the public relations planning department is endlessly tolerant and serves tea, so our editorial department has a famous mantra called "drop, warm man card".
one day I asked Zhang Jingzhi, in fact, how to define a warm man. I search on Zhihu, the first answer is "cloud spare tire", and the reason we want to use the "ridicule" tone, but also because we subconsciously deny the "warm man" this group, we think it is a derogatory term.
almost all my male friends are warm men. As a girl, what basic treatment do I enjoy when I go out with warm men?
you never have to carry things yourself.
you never have to open the door yourself.
never wash dishes and chopsticks by yourself.
of course, I never thought that this was the so-called warm man, so after we had enjoyed all the preferential treatment, we took it for granted. The other day I was surprised and said, in fact, most of my male friends are warm men, and I called them "central air conditioning" before.
in fact, there is a difference between central air conditioning and warm men. Central air conditioning means that all girls are treated like girlfriends, and warm men give warm treatment to people around them.
Last week I went to the May Day concert alone. I saw two male friends the day before. Before I left, I mentioned that I had not booked a room yet. The ordinary boy said, "then you should book a room today."
warm man said, what? Are you going alone? Why don't I go with you and I'll buy a ticket.
I said, no, you don't like May, and you have a test on weekends.
as a result, that night, he searched all the hotels nearby that had spare rooms. They were all comfortable, clean and not remote. "I knew you didn't like living on the high floor. Next to the elevator, I called and asked, and confirmed the lower floor. It's not next to the elevator."
I don't eat onions, so I always tell you not to put onions no matter what I eat. Once when a group of people gathered for dinner, Zhang Qiqiao, a warm man, told the waiter in front of me that Zhang Qi was very good, warm, tall and handsome.
during dinner, a girl half-joked, "just put some onions, it's a big deal." Later, when she lost her temper with me, she said that I didn't like you. Why didn't I wash the dishes myself when eating? why did I wait for others to pick up food for you? why didn't I watch the navigation when I went out? don't you think it's very good?
I thought about it for a long time when I went back that day, and finally I went to ask Zhang Qi, a warm man. He told me that friends don't care about this. We all know who each other is. You are used to relying on people you can trust, and I am used to being relied on by others. He said, I ask you a question, if you leave me, will you not be able to live because of it?
I tried my best to recall that I had been reluctant to ask for help since I was a child. I had been traveling alone since the age of 14 and should have achieved the so-called "independence".
I suddenly realized, nodded and said to him, "No, it's because I'm willing to trust you."
when they scold you for this kind of behavior, only warm men will continue to give you medicine, continue to remember your habit of not eating spring onions, and take care of you like a conditioned reflex. I seem to understand why some girls always say that they prefer to be friends with boys, because they are not so tired, so many scruples and suspicions.
A Lai, a warm man in the public relations planning department, was lovelorn not long ago. On the day he was lovelorn, he was still busy with the recruitment work. He didn't talk about anything. I was afraid he was upset, so I didn't ask him anything.
when I went back to my dormitory in the evening, I suddenly received a phone call from A Lai. He said, eel whale, I'm sinking. I said, OK, I'll go down.
We were sinking and chatting until 02:30, when he told me the whole story of his breakup. "she said she didn't like me at all and wanted to be separated from me for a long time, but she didn't want to leave my kindness to her."
finally he raised the bottle and touched my can of Coke. He said, eel whale, I don't want to be a good person anymore.
I suddenly feel very sad. He has always taken care of everyone's feelings, but few people care about what Alai is thinking and whether Alai is happy recently.
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I said, OK, as long as you are happy.
but the next time we eat together, he will still get ahead of us by pouring water, washing chopsticks and washing dishes. Let me take a look at my mobile phone. The bowl is full of food. I walked slowly in the hope that he would open the door and enter the car, but he always opened the doorknob and turned sideways, waiting for me to approach slowly.
later, I talked to Ah Lai and found that he had a sister at home. He was so kind to his sister that he spoiled her to heaven, so he was kind to people. For him, it was just a deep-rooted habit cultivated by the family environment from an early age. The family environment made him learn to be independent and take care of others at an early age.
A Lai reminds me of Shisuke, a young man in the seaport town of Tokyo in the movie "Yokoshi Shisuke". He is a simple warm man, and everyone around him will be very happy and taken care of. He would say to his friends, "if there's anything I can do for you, just call me." To the one you like, you will say, "it's right to worry about each other!"
my good friend Kato said, "now I think I've earned it just by knowing Yokoto."
Cang Zhan said, "I can only think of you when I ask for help to move."
Mother said, "it is a happy thing to be my son."
first lover Xiangzi said that if you die, people should remember you with a smile.
he warmed everyone around him. So even if he looks ordinary, weirdly haircut, ignorant, straight, but still loved by a lot of people, they all say that as long as they think of Shijiosuke, the original gloom and unhappiness are swept away.
there was a time when I slept very badly, and every morning I was woken up by messages from many people. Vivi asked me why I didn't turn off my phone. I remembered that warm man once told me that his phone would not be turned off for 24 hours, and he had a light sleep because he was afraid that he could not be found when others needed it.
later, when many girls around me scolded me about the routines of warm men, just like central air conditioning, they were good to everyone, but I didn't think so. In fact, "warm man" is just the definition we give him. "being nice to others" is the result of their own family environment and character. It's just that in the "crowd", girls are the group that needs to be taken care of.
every time we laugh at "warm men", they are eager to deny that they know that girls don't like guys who are too nice, but the subconscious will still do those "warm" actions.
I have met some unreliable boys, who can't reach anyone by hundreds of phone calls at critical moments, make an appointment and let you off the plane, but never give any explanation when they are late.
I appreciate this kind of "warmth" more than those "routines", "flirting", "scum" and "central air conditioning" that others complain about. They gave me the best treatment and made me look at boys a few levels higher. I gradually learned how to be nice to others and take care of others, whether it's a warm man or a warm girl. A person who knows how to take care of others deserves to find a better person.
I don't know if you are a warm man or if you happen to have a warm man around you. If so, be kind to the warm man around you and invite him to dinner if you are free. Don't let him pay the bill this time.