Always wait until the last day to know what "forever" means.
Last month was my grandfather's 80th birthday. On that day, or at major festivals attended by the whole family, such as the Mid-Autumn Festival, I always had the wrong idea, that is, "another year, next year's Spring Festival /Mid-Autumn Festival /birthday. I don't know if the old man is still here."
every time I think so, I feel very lucky, as if I have stolen another year from the years to someone who is about to leave at any time. This secret dare not be too happy, as if I am afraid of being in charge of the length of my life. I am afraid that it will not do so next time, and I am afraid that adults will know that I am saying unlucky things.
but it's bound to go. Just before you go, I will send you, to the closest you want to leave that place, the rest of the way, you have to go by yourself.
my grandfather is an old traditional Chinese medicine doctor. When I was a child, I sat in my father's car. Every time I passed the clinic where my grandfather worked, I would stick my head out of the car window and yell at him across the street with few people. "Grandpa, I'm going to your house for dinner." come back from work. "
I do not know which year, the road with few people has been built into an asphalt road; I do not know which year, I seldom take my father's car. Once in a while, I pass the familiar clinic behind the archway. Grandpa has retired. Before I leaned out and shouted, I saw the empty seat with only a white coat and a stethoscope.
at that time, I was eight or nine years old at most, and I didn't realize that the habit of having to give up long-term maintenance because of the passage of time, like sticking my head out and shouting "Dr. Yuan", would be with me for a long time for the rest of my life.
Dr. Yuan is a stubborn old man with poor legs, but he insists on seeing me go to my university.
so at the beginning of school in autumn, Grandpa took his umbrella as a crutch, filled with luggage, got into Dad's car and accompanied me to Guangzhou. Downstairs in the dormitory, I was busy carrying my luggage while pointing to the supermarket and fruit store next to me, telling him that my life would be convenient and don't worry.
the staircase next to the fruit store, climb up, is the dormitory where I live.
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when he came to the top of the stairs, he suddenly stopped and said, "daughter, Grandpa's foot is not good. If he doesn't go up, Grandpa will be here."
I suddenly felt that the scene was as familiar as the afternoon when I passed the door of the clinic again and only saw the empty seat. His "this is it" suddenly made me understand that the companionship, familiarity and habit of the past will not reappear at a certain time.
from the day he retires, he will no longer hear a little girl across the street telling him to go home soon.
every day after she grows up, people who want to leave can only try their best to accompany her to the farthest, not farther away.
he is still alive, and I am still in different people, constantly deepening this experience, but from sad to open-minded.
in an article a long time ago, I wrote about a girl who was a very important friend of mine at that time. I would discuss a lot of inspiration with her. I would not be stingy enough to give her half an earplug for songs I did not share with others. I only showed her many poems I had written.
I can't remember when everyone was busy, and from talking tonight to talking next time, there was no next time. Occasionally, from some life photos she sent me, I can see that she really wants to share her recent situation with me, but those recent situations are very strange, and her new job, new circle of friends, and I, too, are more often doing other things that have nothing to do with her.
for a long time, it becomes more and more rusty.
Last week I posted a picture of sunset, and she didn't like it. It's not surprising that she turned several pages and liked an old sunset photo I sent from the same angle a few months ago.
five minutes later, she posted a circle of friends, "the past warmly reflects the desolation of today", with a screenshot of the movie with the line "get out of the car, I'll get you here."
I didn't like it. I'm probably guilty, but I really want to say I'm sorry, but it's useless to say it, so I just do it and move on to the next moments.
Let those who can't walk with you stop here.
after I saw her stick to her hobby, I learned from her circle of friends that she used her hobby to support herself and performed in different places, and more people saw her and her commendable achievements.
most friendships are like this. We accompany each other through many unique and profound stages, but they will not accompany us to the final destination. I will feel, but will not regret, because no matter how close I miss yesterday, I can't lose my life to participate in each other's life.
these people grow up with us, and then separate, and after we become better people, we go to accompany another person who is also better, and then separate and hit the road.
it's not sad to take a walk and say goodbye, because don't forget that for those who can't walk with you halfway, you are also the one who accompanied him halfway and left.
later, when I listened to "I don't want to leave you alone", I heard the sentence "you will find someone who understands that you love you better, and you must be happier and richer in the next part of the journey." tears. Because two years ago, I told him the lyrics as a story, but two years later he became another story in the lyrics.
it's time to get off, and if you don't want to give up, you have to stop here.
so I often think that so many people, family, friends and loved ones, have given us strength and love, but they have all been "given". What exactly is "last" and what is "forever"?
We may not know until the last day of Forever, so after they say "here with you" to us, we miss each other and bless each other.Is the only thing that can last forever.
some people say, "the best way to miss a person is to turn him into words. Like making amber, he will become one of your many amber, glittering and translucent, but always congealed at that moment and never wake up."
so no matter how you think about turning around the power of time, no matter how you want to be part of each other's new life, just think about it and get out of the car when you go somewhere.