When a girl complains to you, what exactly does she want?
after spending the sweet period of love, Lao Wan found that he could not understand the creature "woman in love" more and more.
"sometimes when I chat with her, after I send a long message, she unexpectedly replied to me directly: uh-huh, oh, hehe." Lao Wan was so angry when he talked about it.
I flipped through some of Lao Wan's chat notes and intercepted one or two paragraphs at random:
girlfriend: I'm going to die. I have to hand in my paper tonight. I have to hand in my experiment report and this week's homework. I didn't touch anything.
Lao Wan: your paper was assigned three weeks ago, and the experiment report was a week ago. I will not talk about your homework. You are an adult, so you should know how to arrange your time, and you can't always wait for deadline to rush to death. You know what your biggest problem is? Is slack, it is like a cat, will secretly kill your ideal blabla bit by bit.
until now, Lao Wan didn't know what he had done wrong. he felt that his painstaking efforts were not understood by his girlfriend, so he asked me, "when a girl complains to you, what does she want?"
I do have something to say about this.
one, girls' complaints are actually another way to express "I need you" sometimes.
I know a girl named Xiao Sheng. She is very strong and aggressive. Once she was hit by a motorcycle at school. When a group of us took her to the hospital, she shed a lot of blood, but she always clenched her teeth without crying or shouting.
due to some accidents, she could not be anesthetized when stitching. Xiao Sheng experienced the sting of the needle and thread piercing back and forth through the flesh five times, but even so, she clenched her teeth and did not cry.
but when she sat on the hospital bed and saw her boyfriend coming all the way from afar, gasping for breath and standing at the door of the ward, she finally burst into tears.
my boyfriend looked sad and asked her if it hurt. She cried and hammered him, saying, "it didn't hurt, but it hurt when I saw you."
A girl is no less strong than a boy, her problem-solving ability is really no worse than that of a boy, and she really knows no less than a boy.
when a girl complains about a problem to you, in most cases, it's not that she really can't solve the problem, it's that her mood needs an outlet.
if she doesn't love you, even if her heart is as hot as ashes, it won't make you see anything different.
when a strong girl reveals her heart to you, it means that she has taken off her armor, which means that she is willing to let you embrace her soft and fragile self, which is a rare and happy thing.
so, in the face of a girl who finally takes off her armor, don't make any sense to forge a new pair of armor for her, isn't it?
Make people swoon over you in cheap wedding dresses! Here are the absolute perfect choice to make you dazzle!
when a girl complains about a problem to you, the real purpose is just to complain. This is an emotional catharsis, a moment of timidity, but also dependence and love for you.
so only a fool would choose to speak the truth that the whole world knows at a time like this. A smart boyfriend will listen carefully to each other's complaints, then touch her head and gently say, "it doesn't matter, isn't there me?"
two, but if you can, give some time to boys who "don't understand you".
I have a good friend Ah Jie who has known me for six or seven years. He likes his first love very much. He didn't do very well because it was his first time as a boyfriend.
if you make a list of the ten sentences that girls hate to hear most, then these ten sentences may be Ajie's mantra.
A Jie, who only clumsily said "drink plenty of hot water" every day, finally broke up: "this is not the way to fall in love."
even if Ajie can remember her favorite balsam pear lemon juice, even if Ajie gave up his favorite basketball for her, even if Ajie really likes her, the girl didn't stay in the end.
after a long time, he began to become able to make girls laugh easily and know how girls like to respond.
however, walking through so many flowers, one night Ajie sighed.
this is Ajie's exact words: "some boyfriends are also boyfriends for the first time." It's just that some people are so talented that they can do well from the beginning; some people, like me, need teachers and practice in order to be a good boyfriend. "but she left without looking back after giving me the last lesson. In fact, if you give me a little more time, I can really do a good job. "
A reasonable boyfriend means to love, but in the wrong way.
he also needs a teacher and practice. When a boyfriend's behavior is not in line with a girl's own inner thoughts, say it, discuss it, run in, don't accumulate to the end, use blame and leave to wake him up and grow up overnight.
because meeting true love is much more difficult than changing the way you get along, so it's really sad to be separated because you get along with each other. Give each other more time to get used to it. Maybe this is to give yourself a chance to learn how to think from each other's point of view.
three, one person is called love, and two people are called feelings
A lot of articles that complain unilaterally about boys or girls always resonate with many people, including me.
but then I couldn't help thinking that there was something wrong with the relationship built by two people, why only one person was allowed to correct it? Both boys and girls have their own characteristics, which can hurt each other. So a relationship always requires two people to discuss and run-in together for a long time. Only those things that may stab each other are slowly polished and smooth.So that we can be the one we want the most.
but there is always a helpless phenomenon between people, that is, two people who love each other torture each other.
for example, boyfriends like to be reasonable, girlfriends like to send, boyfriends snub girlfriends because of games, girlfriends make boyfriends wait because of makeup, girlfriends love LOL, boyfriends like DOTA, and so on, it is always difficult to find a perfect match.
when these points reach your heart, you can be angry, but after getting angry, you should learn to run in, so that the contradictory points of two people can find a suitable way to coexist. The best state for two people is not only to depend on each other, but also to grow up with each other.
for example, boyfriends like games and girlfriends like Tmall. They probably don't talk and don't communicate in the same room until they break up when they feel like they don't have each other.
A connection point is needed at this time, such as FREE's Halloween activities, through which boyfriends can win Tmall coupons and phone bills for their girlfriends through games.
finally, I hope that when others think that your relationship is not the most perfect, you can generously show them the traces you have honed for the relationship, and then proudly tell him that it is the most suitable.
it is suitable for two people to be king when they are separated, and unparalleled in the world to fit all the impossible things together perfectly.
it suits you that you like playing games and she likes Tmall, both of which may be run-in together because of Free.
this is the best part of a relationship. We stumbled along the way, sometimes very happy, sometimes there will be friction, sometimes we will be so tired that we want to stay where we are and don't want to go any further.
but fortunately, every time I can't hold up on the road, I look around and see that there is a stupid, arrogant and inconsiderate you who is also lying beside me, stumbling with me and never giving up.