I saw myself glowing in front of the keyboard.
the first time I met chaos was at the end of 15 years.
A person I think missed forwarded a messy article to his moments.
the article that night was, "I don't want to miss you"
I read the article and commented over and over again to see why she retweeted it.
in the end, I didn't see it, and I didn't have the courage to ask her, but I secretly collected the article and paid attention to the disorder.
since then, disorganized, like other official accounts, lay on my Subscription account list, occasionally being flipped.
at that time, I just took a part-time job as a Wechat editor, so I followed a lot of "big accounts". I wanted to look for inspiration from their articles and want to know why they read so much. At that time, I wrote articles simply because I was paid for part-time work.
until April 10 this year, when I was on the bus back to school that afternoon, I was bored flipping through the official account and thinking about what I had to write about recently, so I saw the messy new recruitment document issued on April 7. A passage from Zhang Jingshi hit me.
"everyone has experienced that kind of time, it is said to be profligate, but it is endless loss when he is ready to go to bed at night.
and looking back on that time, I have no recollection of what I did. It's as if a complete jigsaw puzzle has lost several puzzles in succession for no reason. You know exactly what shape can fill those gaps, but you can't fill the situation.
because the puzzle is gone. "
I have been thinking about what I have done since I went to college on the bus for a long time. I can't think of anything that makes me feel that I am also very good.
before I went to college, I did nothing but the college entrance examination.
A lot of things I like, every time I get to the most critical step, I flinch because I'm afraid of failure.
finally I suddenly saw the final "deadline before 24:00 on April 10th".
I silently turned off the article, thinking to myself,
"come on, it must be too late, and my writing is so ordinary that they won't want it."
after returning to the dormitory that night, I felt a little tired, so I took an early shower and was ready to go to bed, lying in bed watching my cell phone tossing and turning.
I click on the new article again, and I don't want to miss you who has been in my collection all the time.
Tong c wrote at the beginning,
Raise the bar for sophisticated grace by adding stunning plus size wedding dresses online to your wardrobe. Our huge collections of are better than the rest.
"whether you believe it or not, some miss, is a lifetime."
I climbed out of bed, turned on my computer, went online to find out how to make a better resume, picked three articles I had written before, and edited my email.
I clenched the mouse and the villain in my heart was fighting.
"two years ago you regretted not studying hard, a year ago you regretted not showing your heart to the person you like, and half a year ago you regretted giving up the dance you loved. Do you want to regret it again in the future and fail to seize the opportunity to get close to what you like?"
No, I don't want to. Finally, I clicked the "send email" button, and the last step took more than half an hour, but fortunately, I didn't have time.
two days later, I received a reply. Well, I didn't join the mess.
but after that day, my life began to intersect with chaos.
the editor who once admired and liked appeared on the other side of the dialog box, and a resume article was valued and changed for many days.
finally, on the night of 4.27, the name "Zhiyuan" appeared for the first time in the disorganized author's position.
I cried secretly in bed that night, thinking that there would be no "just a contribution" sentence in the next article. I have readers who like me, and I drink vitamin milk appreciated by readers, which is really delicious.
on the second anniversary of the chaos, I watched the push and listened to the voice inside, and wrote "I want to spend the third anniversary with them" in the book.
then I joined the readership. I tried to participate in the discussion of each topic, expressed my views seriously, and commented on the article every night in order to get closer to them.
during the summer vacation, a lot of offline activities were organized disorderly. On July 23rd, I crossed the 350km alone to spend the night with the chaos, even though I just got home from 300km two days ago.
seeing the clutter in reality for the first time, they are more interesting and likable than those in the article, which makes me feel as if everything I have done for such a long time has been worth it.
finally, four days ago, on September 20, Zhiyuan once again appeared in the position of a disorganized author, this time, not a "contribution". That night, I giggled happily in bed.
over the past five months, some of you have asked me, what is the use of doing this, and what will you get? I didn't even answer.
I'd like to answer today. A few days ago, when I was writing in the classroom and holding the computer ready to go back to the dormitory, I saw myself in the reflection of the window. I thought I was glowing.
finally, I would like to use what Tong c said in the article:
"every day, every year, when you look back, I don't want you to give your future self a chance to laugh at yourself now."
I hope you can meet better yourself in chaos.
We work hard to make progress together, and then meet the shining you together.
the recruitment of contributors continues, delaying until the evening of September 26th.
Don't think too long. I don't want to miss you.
email content: resume + your best 3 works.
email address: [email protected]
email title format: position + coordinates + name
deadline: 12:00 in the evening on September 26th
good evening, this is Tong c speaking. From five o'clock in the afternoon to 11:30 in the evening the day before yesterday, I talked with Zhiyuan and Yuanxia on Wechat about how to write an article on literary and artistic themes. At 11:30, the content still could not satisfy us, so I decided not to push it. In fact, I felt a little guilty all night, because I remembered that when Zhang Jingshu taught me, we spent a lot of effort to prepare, but finally did not send it out. At that time, I felt very sad, as if all my efforts had been in vain.
I am afraid that Zhiyuan and Yuanxia will be hit. But he bit his teeth and said to them, "get up tomorrow morning and continue to change." They say, "good" and "it's not as easy as you think. Thank you for your hard work."
I think I'm lucky that they are willing to do it.
I feel very lucky to have you guys willing to do it.