Actually, do you know me?
But you never wanted to get close to me.
Today, as soon as the news of Song Dongye's drug-related news came out, my moments were scrubbed, probably saying that I like you so much that I didn't expect you to be such a person.
I quit the page after browsing for a few seconds. I asked myself a question: after listening to two songs, can you really understand him?
I once interviewed Song Dongye at a music festival, when he performed on stage, talking about the guitar, singing "Lillian", "Pigeon" and "Miss Dong". He changed the lyrics on the stage and made the fans roar with laughter. "Song Dongye is really a humorous and funny person," I heard the cheerful female fans next to him say.
at that time, I happened to be taking a walk by the tent backstage, and the big tent next to my walk happened to be his break room, so I witnessed two female fans who snuck into the interview area and followed him into the break room. But the scene was blocked by the assistant. The female fan shouted outside the tent, "I really like him, can I take a picture with him?"
was later politely declined. Leaning against the railing through the curtain of the tent, I leaned against the railing and saw Song Dongye sitting on the sofa, looking tired and smoking. I remember sighing and thinking, are the people who are supported by many people on the stage really understood?
this year, the publishing house sent me a book in which there happened to be an interview with Song Dongye in Literary Life Weekly. I read a paragraph in the interview, and I copied it in my notes, and I still can't forget it--
"for a while, I was not depressed. I think about the same question every day: why do people live? The more I think about it, the more terrible it becomes; don't they have to die sooner or later for the sake of love; don't they have to die sooner or later for the sake of family affection? don't they have to die sooner or later in order to open a bar, for money? Don't you have to die sooner or later?
Why does everyone think that death is a bad thing, and we should avoid this? Why is everyone sad when they are dead? I don't know. I haven't experienced it, or I'll try to kill one. How do you die? Stand at the window and look down and think. Then Thirteen saw: "what are you doing?" (laughter) it was a very bad time. "
"that period" means that after "Miss Dong" became popular, people placed high hopes on him, but he faced a huge bottleneck period when he could not write a song.
I have no intention of exonerating Song Dongye. I can't be forgiven for taking drugs.
I just don't approve of this so-called "understanding".
do we really know how to know someone? Not exactly.
Last semester, my major had to shoot an interview work. I was a slow hot and extremely lazy person to get to know people, so when this assignment was thrown out, the three people in our group looked at each other. In the end, the other two cheaters sentenced me to death on the grounds that "you know more people".
so I was forced to take the initiative to find a suitable Daniel in a certain field. Perhaps because of people's own inertia, lazy or afraid to contact strangers, I started with a photographer friend of mine, and finally, because of the schedule problem, I was forced to get in touch with an elder who had only met once and never spoke. He is a designer.
before contacting him, I hesitated for two days to interview an idol who was so much better than me, and it took a lot of courage to muster up a lot of courage, because I was thinking, "if I ask a bad question and stay in the cold, wouldn't I be stupid?"
instead, on the afternoon of the interview with him, I calmed down because I remembered what the disorganized team had discussed, that when you get to know a person's way of thinking about his career, it's a fun process. when I was curious about his hobby, I had a lot of questions about the relationship between design and writing.
so that afternoon, in the scheduled 30-minute interview, we talked for two hours, and two teammates set up the machine and went out for a walk, but we hadn't finished talking yet. We didn't break up until he had a job to do.
later, when he talked to Zhang Jingzhi about me, he said, "I'm almost best friends with eel whales." Zhang Jingshi gave me a screenshot of it. He said, "if you look at you, you should go out and communicate with people more often."
well, "communication" is used here.
only later did I realize that the premise of "understanding" is "communication".
before the interview, I collected the information of my predecessors and thought that he would be very aloof, but after talking, I found that he thought that a qualified designer should first learn how to communicate with people and how to communicate with the world.
similarly, Song Dongye on the stage is "humorous and funny", but he may not be as positive as we thought. For those of us who have not communicated with him, we may even misunderstand "pity" and "pity".
recently I have been thinking about a problem: we seem to be familiar with the people around us, but we always have an inexplicable sense of alienation and strangeness.
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Why do we know less about people who seem to be more "familiar"?
this afternoon, I have been listening to the audio of a lecture given by long Yingtai at the Hong Kong Book Fair for 15 years. She said at the book fair, "We don't know a lot of people around us at all, because we seldom listen. There are a lot of memories hidden, unless you really knock on his door and say," I want to hear. ""
when I heard that sentence, it suddenly dawned on me that all the time, I seemed to lack a sense of curiosity about many people around me. I didn't seem to have the strength to understand their lives, their majors, and their way of thinking. What we think of as familiarity is just eating together, having classes together, forming a team to finish the homework mechanized.
the world is sometimes so noisy that everyone is in a hurry to get something, but the faster they lose it.
We are always referring toResponsibility, why the relationship between two people will be estranged, why I can't always get close to him, so the closer you get, the more you express your eager desire, but the farther your relationship is. Because we forget that the premise of an intimate relationship is to maintain a sense of curiosity about the other party.
I have met a lot of readers who say they like me, but sometimes I think they don't really like me, they just like what I write, they resonate and think of their own stories. No one has ever really come to know you and listen to you.
sometimes I am really angry, why do so many people say "like you very much", but those who say they like you verbally never come to see you, but I can only complain proudly, because I can't be angry with readers, just like, you can't be angry with those who don't want to get close to you, get to know you, and listen to your friends' anger, you can only regret, you can't do anything.
I also want to complain proudly, but I'm afraid that when I complain, they don't even want to like me.
I don't know if you also choose to play a person who is not yourself because of the expectations of others, but I still hope that you can find someone who really knows you.
finally, sharing a passage from long Yingtai, she said:
"all a person's dignity comes from his memory. The only thing he can do is respect his memory. We owe him a listen." We owe an era of great listening, listening to the people around us who think they know and know, and listening to people you don't like. And those who need you to listen hard, is the real listening. "
(by the way, Cheng Bi will have a concert in Dongguan on the 30th of this month. If you want to join us, why not click "read the original text"? )